A second-grade teacher was teaching a science lesson on magnets and what they do. At the end of the week, she gave her students a science quiz that included this problem: I have six letters. The first one is M, and I pick up things. What am I? When grading the quizzes, the teacher found that almost half the students answered “mother” instead of “magnet.”
I’m not sure that actually happened. But I can’t be sure it didn’t either. After all, children (and too many grown-ups as well) think moms exist to pick up things. Now it’s true that picking up things is something moms often do. My wife recalls a time she visited me when we were dating. I was living with my parents at the time and my mother was known to keep an impeccably tidy home (a rather impressive feat considering I’m the seventh of her eight children). My wife, fighting off a cold, had used a tissue and thrown it in the empty trash can in the guest bathroom. Within a few minutes, her nose was running again and she returned to the bathroom for another tissue and discovered the trash had already been emptied!
Yes, moms pick up things. But they do many more things that are worthy of our honor. God commands us to honor our mothers (and fathers) every day, not just one day a year (see Exodus 20:12). Nevertheless, Mother’s Day seems like a fitting occasion to highlight three qualities of godly mothers we can and should celebrate.
1. The SACRIFICIAL LOVE of a Mother
Biological mothers are the first to sacrifice for their babies – uniquely so. Mothers frequently give up their physical comfort in the early weeks of pregnancy by enduring bouts of nausea that can last throughout the morning, or the afternoon, or the evening, and maybe even all day. Mothers sacrifice nutrients that instead of nourishing her body go to the developing child. During pregnancy a mother sacrifices her body. It undergoes significant changes. Hormones change. The shape of her body changes. Clothes that once fit don’t fit anymore – and may not fit quite so well again. Ever. Mothers sacrifice space for their babies – specifically space for internal organs! The growing baby can push against her ribs and against her stomach causing indigestion, compromises her bladder leading to frequent trips to the bathroom, and makes it difficult to find comfortable sleeping positions. In due time, a good dad will sacrifice sleep for the baby, too. But mom sacrifices first – uniquely so in a variety of ways.
“One might wonder if the demands of motherhood are worth it. But the heart of a mother renders these sacrifices willingly, cheerfully, joyfully – as if they were privileges. Because they are to her. Why? Love.”
But the sacrificial love of a mother is not strictly tied to the biological factors. The lives of both biological and adoptive mothers are forever altered by the sacrifices involved in motherhood. This can also be true for women who may not have their own children but have assumed a role of spiritual motherhood, finding deep joy in sacrificially loving those in the church who may not experience close bonds with their biological mothers. These life-changing realities are captured in the following thoughts of a mother talking with her daughter: We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “We're taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.” But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that becoming a mother will leave her with emotions so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking “what if that had been MY child?” I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub; that an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I want her to know … her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child; that she would give it up in a moment to save her child. But she will also begin to hope for more years – not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his or hers. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You'll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way by grace into this most wonderful of callings – this blessed gift from God: being a mother. [1]
Given all these sacrifices, one might wonder if the demands of motherhood are worth it. But the heart of a mother renders these sacrifices willingly, cheerfully, joyfully – as if they were privileges. Because they are to her. Why? Love. Love embraces the sacrifices of motherhood as “a most wonderful of callings” and “a blessed gift.” Such is the sacrificial love of a mother.
2. The HUMBLE SERVICE of a Mother
As noble and honorable as the sacrificial love of a mother is, much of her service will go unnoticed. Children often grow up thinking that dinners get served, dishes get cleaned, clothes get washed, bills get paid, toilets get scrubbed, and birthday cakes appear by some force of nature. Well, perhaps that’s true. The force of nature is mom!
“In a myriad of ways, the daily calling of dying to self is felt more acutely by mothers. What they need is fewer guilt trips and expectations and more encouragement as they invest in ordinary tasks that yield long-term dividends ... successes are measured in years, not days or even months, and you can never be quite sure of all the things you did each day that made a difference ...”
On any given day she might treat a child’s fever, bandage a skinned knee, console a broken heart after striking out at the plate, clean up chocolate milk spilled on the carpet, help with homework, drop off at piano practice, hang art on the refrigerator, give a haircut, run to the store, cook dinner, wash dishes, and finish hanging up laundry before finally settling into bed – knowing more opportunities for which she may receive little or no thanks are waiting for her tomorrow.
I’m not at all denying that fathers render humble service in similar and important ways. But mothers often feel the weight of domestic responsibilities in a way that most dads don’t. Author Michael Horton offers some helpful insights when it comes to recognizing the humble service of mothers particularly:
“Nowhere is the ordinary more important to culture and yet less valuable in our society than in relation to motherhood ... many of the things that mothers do in the home are not even measurable, much less stupendously satisfying on a daily basis. Much of it could be tedious, repetitive, and devoid of the intellectual stimulation found in adult company. In a myriad of ways, the daily calling of dying to self is felt more acutely by mothers. What they need is fewer guilt trips and expectations and more encouragement as they invest in ordinary tasks that yield long-term dividends ... successes are measured in years, not days or even months, and you can never be quite sure of all the things you did each day that made a difference ... Precisely because they are gifts and not commodities, domestic labors … cannot be measured or valued in the marketplace. That is their strength, not their weakness.” [2]
But though the service is humble (and can be humbling) and the tasks of motherhood appear quite ordinary, there is something more. Something glorious.
3. The HIDDEN GLORY of a Mother
We can speak of the hidden glory of a mother when we discover that God created mothers to teach us about him. We see in the sacrificial love of a mother a reflection of the deep love of God who so loved the world that he gave his only Son (John 3:16). The humble service of a mother points us to the humble service of our Savior who washed the feet of his disciples (John 13:4-5) and who came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28).
“We see in the sacrificial love of a mother a reflection of the deep love of God who so loved the world that he gave his only Son (John 3:16). The humble service of a mother points us to the humble service of our Savior who washed the feet of his disciples (John 13:4-5) and who came not to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28).”
It’s true that God primarily reveals himself to us in Scripture using masculine terms and images: as a father, a husband, a bridegroom. At least two persons of the Trinity are described explicitly in masculine terms: the Father and the Son. Jesus was incarnate as a man. We need to preserve and embrace this masculine language if we are going to be faithful to the teaching of the Bible. We aren’t at liberty to address God as our “Heavenly Mother.” But we also need to affirm that both male and female (Genesis 1:27), masculinity and femininity, fatherhood and motherhood find their source in the mind and heart of God. Where else would they come from? [3] So, just as a godly father reveals something of the way God provides for, pardons, protects, leads, and disciplines his children (Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:11-13, Hebrews 12:7-10), so also godly mothers reveal something of God’s own sacrificial, condescending, patient, gracious, fierce, enduring love. In fact, God likens himself to a mother comforting her children in Isaiah 66:13: “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Jesus has no problem describing himself in feminine terms as a hen desiring to gather her chicks (Luke 13:34) or describing God’s pursuit of sinners in terms of a housekeeper sweeping her house in search of a lost coin (Luke 15:8-10). There is glory in a mother as she points us to the glory of God.
Conclusion
So it is right to honor mothers. Not only because God commands it but because there’s something profoundly honorable about motherhood – in the way her sacrificial love, her humble service, and her hidden glory reveal something about our amazing God. So this is to all the mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and great-great-grandmothers; to all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick children; to all the mothers who sat in dreadfully uncomfortable seats for hours to attended ball games, competitions, recitals, and rehearsals to cheer for their children; to all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up on their clothes; to all the mothers who faithfully visited the throne of grace with prayers for their children; to all the mothers who put pinwheels, teddy bears, or flowers on their children's graves; to all those with a mother’s heart who could not have children of their own; to all the mothers who have never given up on their children who have gone astray; to all the mothers with missing children; to all the mothers who miscarried and never got the chance to hold that baby in their arms; to all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school – and for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead; to all the mothers of children with disabilities who shower them with uncompromised devotion; to all those who have lost their mothers; to all the mothers who delivered their babies naturally; to all the mothers who delivered by Caesarean-section; to all the mothers of adopted children; to all the new mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation; to mature mothers learning to let go; to working mothers and stay-at-home mothers; to single mothers and married mothers – God bless you all. Happy Mother’s Day. [4]
[1] This is taken from an essay that is accessible on various sites online. The author is unknown. I’ve abbreviated it but you can find the fuller version at: https://www.oneidadispatch.com/2000/05/10/being-a-mother-is-the-greatest-calling/
[2] Michael Horton, Ordinary (Grand Rapids MI: Zondervan, 2014), 192-193.
[3] I am sensitive to the fact that there are people who have not experienced a healthy relationship with their mother. Due to very real parental sins and shortcomings, celebrating an ungodly mother is almost unimaginable for some. The Bible does not call us to deny or ignore the pain of such realities. But understanding that both fatherhood and motherhood have their source in the mind and heart of God means that in him we not only have a perfect Father, but we also find all the love, nurture, grace, and care we might have failed to receive from our mother.
[4] This list of mothers and motherly activities is a modified version of a list I found online years ago. The original version can be accessed at: http://www.mapleleafup.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1906